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Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Life.........
Have you ever wondered why the hell some things happen to you? Or why people do some of the things that they do. Life is always full of unexpected twists and turns, that can sometimes leave you in a bundle of confusion. Or sometimes life can just leave you so hurt that you think that you can never overcome the hurt until a new light comes along and lighten up your life. Well thats my case. Recently I have went through a very terrible breakup...that truthfully wasent my fault, and my heart was hurting and is recently still hurting. I have saw that she moved on and now I'm thinking that maybe I should to. I mean I'm talking to someone new, but is it right? I mean I still have some love for my ex and sometimes I wonder if she still thinks about me, or if she still feels for me. Should I ask her this question? Should I start to date again? Or should i just forget about love all together? You know stop chasing after something that doesn't seem to be for me! Should i forget about my past and just look ahead to the future, or should I keep the past as a memory to learn from? But if I do, will my past keep haunting me and stopping me from living the life I would like to live? These descisions shouldn't have to be made by a person like me. People should be coming to me with the problems, but lately it has been totally the oppisite.
Tuesday, November 6, 2007
America....
What exactly is America? It isn't the land of the free because you cant be what you want or say what you want, without getting ridiculed for it. You can't not believe in God, because again, you are looked badly upon. What is America? I have lived here all my life and still do not have a clue about what the hell it is. So in finding what my country stand for I have..... a poem....
Land of the free
Prosperity and unity
Hope and opportunity
Some shape of unity
America
What it is perceived to be
A common misconception
Of a country that's suppose to make no exceptions
Of who you are, what you are, or how you got into this country by far
The up to not good
The ones that don't but should
The government that never understood
Of what America is, was, and not what it is supposed to be
Be free
Hopeful to see
But can't be free
Can't prosper
Can't look into the future and see
The oppression of the America
Holding me down under one piece.
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America
The AmericaLand of the free
Prosperity and unity
Hope and opportunity
Some shape of unity
America
What it is perceived to be
A common misconception
Of a country that's suppose to make no exceptions
Of who you are, what you are, or how you got into this country by far
The up to not good
The ones that don't but should
The government that never understood
Of what America is, was, and not what it is supposed to be
Be free
Hopeful to see
But can't be free
Can't prosper
Can't look into the future and see
The oppression of the America
Holding me down under one piece.
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In The Households.........
In my hood, i notice so many families, where the mother is the head person of the household. Very few are led by fathers. Single parent households ,I have come to notice, can have various effects on the children within the household.
My brother and I both live in the same household, but our family life is somewhat different. My mother really doesn't count as the head of the family, I take my great grand mother to be the head matron. But in that, I have been with my great grand mother and she has raised and took care of me since I was two weeks old, and my brother didn't meet her until he was like 7 maybe. I take my "granny" way more seriously, and respect her more than i do my mother. My brother on the other hand is the opposite. He almost has no respect for her and sometimes listens to my mother, but gives her a lot of respect.
The difference comes in when it comes down to fathers. In my life, my father has reentered the picture, and right now is one of the best things that has happened over the past couple of years. He is there for support, guidance, and inspiration, whenever I need him. My brothers father on the other hand, is not in the picture, and I can see the effect it is having on him. He is becoming a statistic within this black society, and seems to not be coming out.
Me personally, was raised very protected, because my "granny" didn't want me to find out the bad things that was occurring in our society, and in life itself. But as my mother came into play, and my family began to build with my mother so-called coming back into the picture, I learned that life can be a bitch depending on how you treat her (excuse my language). Its true, how you see life, and how you take care of it, is the exact way life is going to hit you back. I learned to do for myself, to depend on myself, and to think for myself, and in that mother or not, father or not, I'm going to be just fine. But my brother, he depended on my mother to much, and now her depends on her for everything. And that is the reason why he is becoming a statistic. He doesn't think for himself to begin with. Whatever his friends tell him to do, he's going to do it, no matter how much I tell him it's the wrong thing. And when her end up in trouble, he depends on my mother to get him out, and like a dummy she does. And this is a repeated offence. He doesn't do for himself either. He wants everyone to cook and clean, for him, whats going to happen when he can't live at home anymore? I believe the root to this problem is there was never a father figure in his life.
Females, not to much, but I strongly believe that males really need a male role model such as "dad" to be in the picture. I truly believe, if he had that structure of a male role model, to help him learn how to be a man and what it takes to be a man, he would be better off. Some children can't do with just a mother or just a father, some can do good all by there self. But boys need that source of support, in order to actually reach there positive full potential. Without it, they are going to look to the streets, and look within gangs, in order to find that source of support that they want, and are longing for.
With that said, I believe that fathers and mothers need to step up to the plate, and do what they need to do. Because I believe, that the root of all gangs, is the fact that a child had no emotional and physical support within the household. And if a child can't get the support they need from a father or mother, than where are they going to get it from?
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My brother and I both live in the same household, but our family life is somewhat different. My mother really doesn't count as the head of the family, I take my great grand mother to be the head matron. But in that, I have been with my great grand mother and she has raised and took care of me since I was two weeks old, and my brother didn't meet her until he was like 7 maybe. I take my "granny" way more seriously, and respect her more than i do my mother. My brother on the other hand is the opposite. He almost has no respect for her and sometimes listens to my mother, but gives her a lot of respect.
The difference comes in when it comes down to fathers. In my life, my father has reentered the picture, and right now is one of the best things that has happened over the past couple of years. He is there for support, guidance, and inspiration, whenever I need him. My brothers father on the other hand, is not in the picture, and I can see the effect it is having on him. He is becoming a statistic within this black society, and seems to not be coming out.
Me personally, was raised very protected, because my "granny" didn't want me to find out the bad things that was occurring in our society, and in life itself. But as my mother came into play, and my family began to build with my mother so-called coming back into the picture, I learned that life can be a bitch depending on how you treat her (excuse my language). Its true, how you see life, and how you take care of it, is the exact way life is going to hit you back. I learned to do for myself, to depend on myself, and to think for myself, and in that mother or not, father or not, I'm going to be just fine. But my brother, he depended on my mother to much, and now her depends on her for everything. And that is the reason why he is becoming a statistic. He doesn't think for himself to begin with. Whatever his friends tell him to do, he's going to do it, no matter how much I tell him it's the wrong thing. And when her end up in trouble, he depends on my mother to get him out, and like a dummy she does. And this is a repeated offence. He doesn't do for himself either. He wants everyone to cook and clean, for him, whats going to happen when he can't live at home anymore? I believe the root to this problem is there was never a father figure in his life.
Females, not to much, but I strongly believe that males really need a male role model such as "dad" to be in the picture. I truly believe, if he had that structure of a male role model, to help him learn how to be a man and what it takes to be a man, he would be better off. Some children can't do with just a mother or just a father, some can do good all by there self. But boys need that source of support, in order to actually reach there positive full potential. Without it, they are going to look to the streets, and look within gangs, in order to find that source of support that they want, and are longing for.
With that said, I believe that fathers and mothers need to step up to the plate, and do what they need to do. Because I believe, that the root of all gangs, is the fact that a child had no emotional and physical support within the household. And if a child can't get the support they need from a father or mother, than where are they going to get it from?
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Saturday, November 3, 2007
As A Child....
Growing up was not fun...it wasn't pleasurable......it was protected. I had some fun, but only limited fun, because I was raised by my great-grand mother and she couldn't do all the things a young mother or father could do. My mom was in and out, same as my father. All I had was me, my great grand mother and my brother. Then all of a sudden she wants to show up and just think everything is right...sorry but it wasn't. Me and my mom were never close and we still aren't. We are to different, to be related I think sometimes, but I know that I'm hers. It hurts when she talks about my dad, because he is in my life doing way better than he was before, really playing apart, but my mom about the same. Some days I would walk into the house, she wouldn't acknowledge me or even know that I'm there. My mom is still out there, and I wish she would straiten up, and stop doing the things she does, but I can only tell her so much. She may learn one day but when will that one day come? I also worry about ,my sister, because she is my pride and joy, and when I leave for college, what's going to happen to her? Whats going to happen to granny? How long would it be before my brother follow his daddy's footsteps and wind up in jail? He think life's a game and already had a criminal record. When will it all stop!!! I lay at night and I cry....I'm scared of what the future is going to bring.....and one night I stopped crying and I began to write..................
Tears from my eyes
Restless nights I try to sleep
Try to rest, but always think
About the future that lies in front of me
Mother I cry
When I leave from home
Whats going to happen?
With you set in your ways
And my brother who takes everything for play
My little sister who knows no better
To my great grandmother whose heart is light as a feather
Mother I cry
You holler, and holler
As a child, of you negativity is all I can remember
You always downin' my hardworking dad
But you were know better in the past
Mother I cry
All my fond memories from childhood
You are not in them
All my events I did
You didn't show up
It hurt my heart when you told me a lie
But as you can see I continued my life
Trying not to become what you have
But something bigger and better I try
Memories of the lies
Memories of the drugs
Memories of the thievery
Memories of the abuse
I remember it all....
Being left alone
While you go and do your drug deals
You being locked up almost my whole life
Because you never decided to get right
I go to crying to granny
Because you hurt me
And all you can do is holler at her
Because she found your thievery
Running from the police
Getting caught anyway
Looking at me
Then about face
I remember it all
And you are still not that much better
What's going to happen in our future life?
But mom...Right now...every night...I cry...
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Mother I Cry
Tears from my eyes
Restless nights I try to sleep
Try to rest, but always think
About the future that lies in front of me
Mother I cry
When I leave from home
Whats going to happen?
With you set in your ways
And my brother who takes everything for play
My little sister who knows no better
To my great grandmother whose heart is light as a feather
Mother I cry
You holler, and holler
As a child, of you negativity is all I can remember
You always downin' my hardworking dad
But you were know better in the past
Mother I cry
All my fond memories from childhood
You are not in them
All my events I did
You didn't show up
It hurt my heart when you told me a lie
But as you can see I continued my life
Trying not to become what you have
But something bigger and better I try
Memories of the lies
Memories of the drugs
Memories of the thievery
Memories of the abuse
I remember it all....
Being left alone
While you go and do your drug deals
You being locked up almost my whole life
Because you never decided to get right
I go to crying to granny
Because you hurt me
And all you can do is holler at her
Because she found your thievery
Running from the police
Getting caught anyway
Looking at me
Then about face
I remember it all
And you are still not that much better
What's going to happen in our future life?
But mom...Right now...every night...I cry...
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Poetry
Poetry is a "responsible attempt to understand the world in human terms through literary composition." says an online dictionary. But if you take it out of a "intelligent context" so to speak, all it is is expressed emotions. Poetry is verbal art, due to the fact that it has meaning, it has expressions, it has rhythm, movement, and type of art elements. Poetry is a way to escape from your world and express what you feel either verbally or just through writing. Here is a poem that I wrote myself, noticing the things in my community and just in daily lives, of the urban youth and family here in Chicago.
Hate It Or Love It.....
On going violence
People roaming through the streets
Crooked cops drug lots
In the air...smell of pot
People wastin' there lives
People droppin' like dimes
You can hate it or love it
It's viewed by many lives
The will to achieve by oh so many few
With the hope of graduating from high school
Not being distracted by a gang or crew
Some come to school to
Act a fool
To do the do
Or to sell what they can to make quick loot
Hate it or love it
It's sad to say
This goes on in high schools
Almost everyday
Striving, working hard
Trying to make the honest American money
Cash the check
Pay the bills
Still wind up broke
Which is nowhere near funny
The working poor
Trying to live the American Dream
Trying hard to provide for there family
Can't get all what they need
Got to wait two weeks, just to be broke like the last week
Hate it or love it
It still goes on
The working poor
Tryin' to make life in some shape or form
Young ones gettin' shot, gettin' raped, gettin' beaten by the ones they know
By the people in there lives, that's supposed to love them the most
The will to run away
But the thought of nowhere to stay
To scared to tell another soul whats going on
Afraid of judgement, embarrassment, or what others would say when they come along
No one to talk to
The feeling of being all alone
But the thought of coming home....is like a long sad song
Hate it or love it
All across America
It goes on in so many homes
But no one decides to pick up the phone.
Pause...think..rewind to change the past
Only if life was that easy....
To change all the didn't to should have's...
The happy from the sad's...
The missin in action mom and dad's
To all the mistakes that were maid plaid
Slow motion
Think in our minds
Of what we can do
To help change these hard times.....
Hate It Or Love It.....
On going violence
People roaming through the streets
Crooked cops drug lots
In the air...smell of pot
People wastin' there lives
People droppin' like dimes
You can hate it or love it
It's viewed by many lives
The will to achieve by oh so many few
With the hope of graduating from high school
Not being distracted by a gang or crew
Some come to school to
Act a fool
To do the do
Or to sell what they can to make quick loot
Hate it or love it
It's sad to say
This goes on in high schools
Almost everyday
Striving, working hard
Trying to make the honest American money
Cash the check
Pay the bills
Still wind up broke
Which is nowhere near funny
The working poor
Trying to live the American Dream
Trying hard to provide for there family
Can't get all what they need
Got to wait two weeks, just to be broke like the last week
Hate it or love it
It still goes on
The working poor
Tryin' to make life in some shape or form
Young ones gettin' shot, gettin' raped, gettin' beaten by the ones they know
By the people in there lives, that's supposed to love them the most
The will to run away
But the thought of nowhere to stay
To scared to tell another soul whats going on
Afraid of judgement, embarrassment, or what others would say when they come along
No one to talk to
The feeling of being all alone
But the thought of coming home....is like a long sad song
Hate it or love it
All across America
It goes on in so many homes
But no one decides to pick up the phone.
Pause...think..rewind to change the past
Only if life was that easy....
To change all the didn't to should have's...
The happy from the sad's...
The missin in action mom and dad's
To all the mistakes that were maid plaid
Slow motion
Think in our minds
Of what we can do
To help change these hard times.....
SUPPORTERS GO HERE
Friday, October 12, 2007
An upcoming Event
I am trying to put together an event that displays art and takes part in activism. I have decided to have a poetry slam, and the money/donations comes from the event would be sent down to Louisiana, to the victims of Hurricane Katrina. This money would go towards rebuilding the community, and peoples lives. May i mind you that the proceeds would not be going through the Red Cross, because coming from the victims, they didn't see much of the money, if any at all. But now I'm at the beginning stages, so there would be further info to come. If you are interested in helping, or even preforming at the poetry slam, please e-mail me at activistace_respectdamic@yahoo.com
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